Hugh's Blog

I’m in Ladysmith, British Columbia tonight enroute to California with my daughters. The first thing we noticed when we arrived was the lights from six 90 meter cargo ships anchored a stones throw away in Ladysmith Bay-something that locals will tell you is a first.

The reason-no traffic is going to Japan. Whether it is radiation risk, or a distracted nation, Japan-the icon of our industrialized nations, purchaser and manufacturer of all that is good-is on hold.

It’s hard to find the good news today: tsunami, earthquake, Libya under fire, bankruptcies, or kids shooting each other on Facebook.

Here’s the bigger risk.

Shell-shocked people anxious about the future.

You can’t drink booze all day without getting sick.

You can’t look at the sun all day without doing damage.

And you can’t read the news all day without feeling sad.

We need to remember that there has always been crisis, wars, disasters, and abhorrent human behavior.

What makes the difference is how we respond.

Individually we need to find the good to meditate on every day.

Play with your kids, walk your dog, get into nature, or drink a good latte. But treat it like vitamins; don’t go a day without them.

It’s good for you-it’s good for all of us.

Tags: commitment, conflict, culver, decisions, effectiveness, happiness, health, motivation

Are you honest?

We all had it drilled into us as kids -
Tell the truth.
Honesty is the best medicine.
Never lie.
And we are honest-kind of.
We tell our clients the truth, sort of.
We tell our husband/wife/partner the truth, mostly.
We tell our kids the truth, usually.
We tell our employees the truth, when convenient.
We tell our friends the truth, when it feels good.
This is hard work!

What would it be like to be honest, always?

You have a meal at a restaurant. The waiter asks for feedback. You know it’s not great and you choose to tell the truth. They blush, sputter, hesitate, and then thank you.  Done. You told the truth and can get on with your meal without that weird feeling of faux truth.

Let’s ramp up the risk-factor…

You have a sit-down with your husband/wife/partner and talk about love, sex, kids, money, fears, death, family, whatever completely unguarded. Done. You told what was on your mind and heart and now you can move on, in honesty.

I have to admit that any and all of my relationship mishaps, near misses, and disasters started with me not being honest.

What do you prefer:

A. Play a game to protect your image so that you can (hopefully) protect others and avoid conflict, or
B. Tell it like it is with honesty, love, and caring and let relationships unfold (and grow) in total honesty.

As Mark Twain once quipped “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

Great advice.

Tags: accountability, business growth, clients, commitment, effectiveness, promises, resolutions

“I will be more present” said the workshop participant as she recorded her new commitment in the workbook.

I couldn’t help myself-I had to ask.

“That’s great” I said “But, what does ‘be more present’ look like to you?”

When we throw around vague aspirations we run the risk of convincing ourselves we have taken action. We haven’t.
It’s like saying “I will be more money conscious.” It’s a nifty thought that might make you feel more on top of your debt, but it won’t put a dent in your credit card bills.

Just as an example, here is what “be more present” might look like in the hard currency of action:

• Pay attention to the person talking, and not your phone.
• Turn away from your computer when on a conference call and avoid the temptation to multi-task.
• Remind yourself that listening does not mean finishing sentences or mentally rehearsing a response.
• Move to curiosity, even if you find you are disagreeing with what they are saying (especially if you are disagreeing).
• Breath.
• Don’t anticipate the future, or contemplate your next move-just see what happens.

What do you commit to that needs a little pinch of action added to it?

Tags: accountability, commitment, culver, decisions, effectiveness, growth, motivation, productivity, resolutions, time management